Every day struggles

Every day I have a different struggle, but the main thing that is a constant battle is walking.  When I got cancer, I lost all of my energy to do literally anything, so I haven't gotten hardly any physical exercise.  When you are sitting and laying down that much, for that long, you would think you would gain weight.  I was the exact opposite, I lost all of my muscles, and the disease itself makes me lose weight constantly.  Because of this, it makes it very hard for my legs to support me.  One of the chemo drugs that I take, has a side effect that gives me a condition called foot drop.  This means that my ankles are very delicate, and weak, and I cannot lift my feet on my own, so walking like a regular person-heal to toe, is next to impossible.  Its really hard to gain back muscle, yet you lose it unbelievably fast.  I really don't like not being able to walk properly because it means I need help all the time, it makes me feel vulnerable, and needy.  It's also scary because if I fall, I can't get back up on my own, so I'm never allowed to be left alone.  An other struggle that I have on a daily basis, is the nausea.  In the past 6 months, I have thrown up 10x more than a regular person would, in there entire lives.  You learn to keep going though, if every time you puke, you stay in bed for the rest of the day, you're going to be in bed for three years, and that's just not realistic.  My family and I try to make light of any and every situation, for example we named my puke bucket Vern.  It may be a little thing, but it does make a difference.  Saying "can you pass me the Vern?" is a lot nicer than saying "get me the bucket!".  Moral of the story is, thinking positively and making light of any situation, makes everything easier, and a lot more bearable.