Forgot to post this

Im honestly so sick of being sick. I am missing so many opportunities because I'm ill. I want to be as normal as possible, but nothing seems to be going right. My best friend offered me my dream; to go to Paris, England and Italy with her in one big trip this summer. I couldn't go because I can't get travel insurance, because no one will cover me, as I am "high risk". I planned this big sleepover that I was really excited for because I haven't had a sleepover in over a year now.  I may not be able to do that now because I have shingles for the THIRD time, and I might be admitted for that tomorrow. So not only will I have that admission, but I am also supposed to be in hospital all week next week for some intense chemo. Also I have to start on this new weird drug that goes into my lungs and I have to be in a "clean room" and all sorts of weird stuff, because my current drug is suppressing my immune system. And that's just the beginning. If I got into the basic stuff that I'm missing I could go on for hours(school, going swimming, sports, walking, skipping, sunshine, camping, anything involving independence etc.). It's just negative after negative. I feel kinda dumb for complaining about stuff i've had to deal with since day 1, but I guess when I couldn't move from the bed/couch because I was so sick, I didn't really care about the opportunities that I was missing because I didn't feel like doing them.  But now that I'm slowly starting to feel better, I want to do more. And knowing that I can't because of this stupid disease, is really starting to bug me, to say the least. It's starting to really weigh me down, and I'm definitely not feeling very positive lately. I'm sorry I haven't been blogging lately, I guess for a while I sort of lost interest. Ill try to make the next blog a little more happy, but I think it's good to vent out the negatives here and there as well.