Whats up

Its been a pretty stressful little while for me lately.  I finished my five day stint, and I did indeed lose all of my hair once again.  This means that it is highly likely, that until September, my hair will continue to fall out every time I get that treatment.  This has been really hard for me to go through, because it's not like I'm just losing my hair once.  It grows back a little bit and I get excited, and then it falls out all over again. Right now I'm on an evil med, called dexomethozone and it really messes with my head.  I find it very difficult to think clearly, and I have very intense mood swings, so I am not very happy at the moment.  I know things will get better, I just wish they would pick up the pace a little bit.

hair progress

My hair has started to grow again. I actually almost have a full inch of hair right now! I am very excited. My doctor said that since I just got a lot of treatment in the five days, there is about a 50/50 chance that my hair will stay this time.  If it is going to fall out, it will fall out in a week or two.  I'm scared because I don't want to get all worked up that my hair is growing, because I know there is a good chance that I will just lose it again.  But it is just so exciting to feel hair on my head again!  I can use shampoo, and tug on my hair a bit, and I have nice eyelashes and almost full eyebrows.  How could I not get excited about having all that?  I'm so worried that it will fall out, it is heart wrenching.  I have to hope for the best and expect the worst I guess, here's hoping!

1 year!!

On March 27th 2014, it was my one year mark, since I started treatment.  I wanted to write a special blog on that day, but unfortunately I was in hospital for a 5 day stint(5 days of chemo) and the meds that I was on during that time really messed up my head.  I couldn't think straight enough to decide what exactly I wanted to write on here.  However I did make a facebook post, so you can look at that if you want. 
This past year I have been really self conscious of losing my hair, and the other many ways my appearance has changed since I started with all of this.  It's really hard being a bald and poofy 16 year old girl.  On that day, I gathered up all of my courage and for the first time, I posted a picture of exactly what I look like.  I think I have finally come to terms with the fact that I look different, because I am struggling.  I don't think there is anything to be ashamed of, and I don't think anybody should be ashamed of exactly who they are.  I plan on starting to post more pictures of my progress, on here and on facebook.  When I have hair and look "normal" again, I want to have pictures and memories of how I look now.