thoughts and prayers

Someone asked me the other day if I was religious and if not, does it bother me when people tell me they are praying for me. Just to clear it up, I may not be religious or pray myself, however when people tell me I'm in their prayers I really appreciate it.  It is a genuinely kind thing to do and they are trying to help, and hey its definitely not doing any harm.

big step

A couple days ago, I was finally able to go home.  Hopefully I will get a bit of a break from the hospital this time.  This has been the hardest month of treatment I have had to go through but I am now in pre-maintenance!  I've waited ten months for this.  It means that things are finally going to start getting easier on me.  I have gotten through the hardest part of my journey.  Hooray!

news definitely isn't always good

Unfortunately I received some really bad news a few days ago.  One of my friends from cancer clinic passed away.  She was only 15 and had a different type of cancer than I do, but it was really difficult and upsetting to hear.  This is a tragedy that I was most definitely not used to dealing with.  I'm used to seeing treatment plans go well, and yes the treatment makes you sick and sore, but you pull out of it and get better eventually.  It was really surprising to hear, because it was so out of the blue, she just didn't recover one time and I didn't really know that could happen.  So not only did I lose someone I care about, but it also makes me wonder if that will happen to me.  I never really considered death to be something that could happen, I just assumed that the treatments would work, but death is very real in any cancer situation, and that really scares me.